How to find the road to forgiving?
I knew of a friend who has not forgiven her mother-in-law who made her life miserable and spoke all kinds of lies that nearly ruined her marriage with the husband. She is now in her 70’s and the mother-in-law has passed away decades ago. She still feels the pain and anger when spoken of the relationship. She holds on unforgiveness tightly in her hands and never want to let go.
Follow these five vital steps to be able forgive:
This is the first step to forgiving someone you’ve been wronged. We are too weak emotionally to begin a forgiving process. We need spiritual strength from God to enable us to let go of the hatred, bitterness and anger deep within.
A very important step to forgiving is acknowledging and accepting that you’ve been wronged. You must accept what has happened and find a way to live with it. The worse obstacle if to live in denial. Acknowledgement and acceptance is the starting point for moving your life forward in a positive direction.
It’s important to give yourself adequate time to heal. The amount of time you need to experience relief from your pain varies; each person heals differently. Do not rush and want to get the healing result fast. If possible, you may want to try to limit your time with the person that hurt you while you reflect and heal.
4) Revitalizing your relationship.
All relationships, whether romantic or completely platonic, need nurturing in order to thrive. If you ignore nurturing your relationship for too long because you’re upset, it’s likely to wither away. Once you’ve gone through the healing process and ready to face the person and start anew again, you may begin by spending time together. Go out for dinner, hang around your house or just spend a day together at the park. The location is of little importance, but the company is essential to revitalizing your relationship.
This should be done simultaneously while revitalizing your relationship. The person that hurt you should be working diligently towards making you feel secure in trusting them once again. Be open to their love, affection, and attempts to rectify their wrongs. If you hold a grudge, you may be stuck in this rut for a lifetime.
But in this case, it takes two to tango. Both you and the other party involved must be willing to make an honest effort. Though it may seem unfair to ask you to make an effort when you’re the one that’s been wronged, this is the price you pay for freeing yourself from those toxic shackles.
People do change. Trust can be restored if both parties in the relationship are willing to work at it. While the healing process may take time, two people who are willing to reconcile and consistently seek each other’s happiness will experience that happiness for themselves and an intimate relationship that will withstand the test of time.
I would like to recommend to you an old times Christian gospel song, “freely freely”, I pray that you will find complete freedom in forgiveness