Help given appropriately

Today’s Quote (Rick Godwin):  AbundantLifeTogether

You can help others when you do for them what they can’t do for themselves, but not when you do for them what they won’t do for themselves!

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AbundantLifeTogether
This is especially true in a family situation. When a parent helps a child, you need to know whether he or she is not capable to do it or just simply lazy to do it. We propagate “helping is a virtue”. It can only be true if your child truly needs that help, he or she is not escaping from responsibilities.
AbundantLifeTogether
Financial needs are the same. We would put our money in things we value the most. It may be investments, savings, a car, a house, children’s education, IT gadgets, charities etc. In real life, everyone has limited resources. We need to prioritize our spending. Financial help should be given to those who are genuinely in need, not to those who are unwilling to spend their money on it, while choosing to spend on something less important.
AbundantLifeTogether
Just toAbundantLifeTogether give an example. If you decide to spend a huge sum on a romantic candle-light dinner in a good restaurant, you may find it a struggle to buy text books for the children. Should anyone help by giving you money to buy the text books? This may be appropriate and needed in the short term to help your children. However, I believe other forms of help could have more lasting effect. What you need may be a good financial planning and budgeting course. You may benefit more by having a friend to share on how he prioritizes his family’s spending. Sometimes a gentle but firm rebuke to help you building a responsible value system is most appropriate.
Next time before we offer help, pause and think whether we are actually “helping” or “spoiling” the person.
Categories: Marriage, Parenting, Reflections | Leave a comment

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