Do you speak these words to your spouse?
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of communication in a marriage relationship. I have shared before about learning the love languages of your spouse so that you can generously lavish the right kind of “love” upon him / her (click here to read of my book review), there are some words that are ever green and effective no matter what love languages you speak.
Of course there are many words words that could help improve your married life and make it a blissful one. Some of them are “may I help”, “I am sorry” or the commonly used phrase, “I love you”. There are other words to show you care and truly love the one you are with and perhaps the two most important words/phrases are shown below.
Children have been thought to speak kind words to each other as they grow up. Simple words, as they are taught, make what you say better and more personal. This is a lesson most married couples should believe and practice. These words help them get what they want without being too demanding and leave the one helping with a feeling o success.
What I am going to share with you are two very simple phrases which are ever green and ever so relevant regardless of what love languages your spouse speaks. When you actually read these words, you may burst into laughter, and may even sneer, “What? I knew these all along. Why don’t share something new and “trendy”?” My question to you is this, “It’s well and good that you knew them. Do you use them often in your communication in the marriage relationship?”
Please pass the rice. Please pick me up after school. Can I ride your bike please? The word “please” has been one of the truly magical words in the English language. It can turn a very thoughtless and rude order/command into a kind and polite request. It can turn what might be an altercation into a kind exchange of words. This simple word has the ability to make someone happy while helping you.
“Please” causes the person being requested to something to view the request not as a “command” but as something that needs his/her special attention and most people love the feeling of helping or and feeling that you are being asking for their help. This is important since every request is happily acknowledged and happily done. It is also important since you give the person an option to accept your request or deny it. It gives people more freedom and because they’re happy with freedom, they tend to give in to whoever requested the help.
Parents try to instill this magical word in their children’s vocabulary as soon as they learn how to speak. Children usually have a lot of things they can’t do and usually ask for help from their elders. Imagine how it would sound without the word “please” and you’ll find yourself shuddering at the thought of children ordering adults around. “Please” from a child usually makes older people happy to comply because the child is polite.
This is the same for married couples too. A simple “please” from your husband or wife is always better than a request without it. This simple word causes a lot of spats/fights to cease and will generally let your requests be granted by your partner.
As a child, most of us have been taught to thank everyone for their help. Whether it is a simple job like asking for a glass of water or a complicated one like asking for help with homework, the word “thank you” is uttered by a child’s lips. As adults, people tend to love children who know how to thank them and it always pleases them to help the children again the next time they need help.
As children grow into adults, most people tend to forget what they have learned from their childhood. They ask for help, and whether the help was willingly or unwillingly given, no word of thanks can be heard. This can be a little disappointing for those who work not for money but for the sake of helping.
As a part of a married couple, you have the ability to make work lighter. Once you see how hard your husband/wife labored to cook your dinner, just mutter a simple “thank you” while eating and all of his/her fatigue will disappear and he or she will be smiling the rest of the time you are eating. Those two words are priceless and what they can do for someone else’s spirits is astounding.
It is a simple thing to say these two words/phrases and it is probably the reason why most people tend to forget to say them. A simple “please” and a simple “thank you” can give your married life a boost and you will be surprised what it can for your marriage. There are probably other words but these two words/phrases are the two most important ones in marriage and everyday life.
Start saying “PLEASE” and “THANK YOU”, they are like added ingredients that will spice up your marriage. Don’t take my words for it, just try putting it into practice, you are the ultimate judge whether it is true.