Effective Parenting – Know your style

Which One of 3 Parenting Styles Are You?


A rare time when our family went fishing together

If you don’t already know, all of us have natural styles in relating people. Parenting is of no difference. My two children have been raised in a disciplined environment. They complained that it has been unfair because they weren’t allow to do many things which their contemporaries would do them without having to ask their parents’ permission. Some of my friends used to jokingly commented, “Henry is raising children in an army camp.” I must admit, Julia and I made many mistakes in the process of raising our children. We had no idea about parenting styles until when our children were much older. Surprisingly we found out that we were unconsciously following our own parents’ styles in relating to our own children.

I am sharing this post because Julia and I benefit from the knowledge of parenting styles. It helps us to take stock on our own style, understand why we are using this style and more importantly we can adjust the ways we could put in conscious effort to relate to our children ways that could achieve better result.

What is parenting styles?

Parenting styles depict how a child is raised within a household. These parenting styles are generally categorized into three main psychological groups that can be easily identified based on the type of behavior expected by the children.

Parents usually reflect a parenting style from which they learned from their childhood. The childhood that parents had can be good or bad. The bad instances of philosophy usually are thrown out when they have their own children so what’s left is a compromise of a parenting technique that is comfortable for them.

Knowing what these 3 styles are will help parents understand why children act they way they do. If the actions of your children are not what you are expecting then you will be able to understand the effect of your parenting style and you might be able to change it.

authoratarianParenting Style 1: Authoritarian

This is a one way street for discipline.  This is an attitude of giving orders and having your children comply without reservation. There is no leniency and no reasons for your requests. You expect your children to do as their told without any type of reason of why they are doing it. This type of parenting assumes that the parents have high standards for their children but yet are not responsive to their children’s psychological needs.

Parenting Style 2: Authoritative 

authoratativeThis style may seem the same as style 1 but this is a more democratic process. The same guidelines are in place and children are expected to do as their told but with one caveat.  They are given reasons why they’re supposed to clean their rooms and kitchen. Parents are responsive to the questions that children have and make quality time for them. Parents are supportive of their children’s efforts towards understanding their roles in life.

Parenting Style 3: Permissive

PermissiveThis is a hands off style of parenting. It almost seems as though the parents let the kids do anything they want without any type of repercussions. Parents rarely discipline their children for any type of infraction of rules. Rules in fact are non existent because the parents want to avoid confrontation and avoid giving the children any type of consequences to less than honorable actions.  This is more of a giving in type of attitude where the children run over the parents psychologically when responsibility comes into play.

Knowing which parenting style that you may fit in will cause you to understand the behavior of your child. Being able to understand and being flexible in the communication department with your children is important for the formative stages of your child. Making sure that you bring up your children in a healthy psychological environment will be the key to success for your children’s state of mind.

Proverbs 22:6
“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

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