Posts Tagged With: relationship

光良 Michael 《那些愛過的事 All That I’ve Loved》

一直都很喜欢光良的歌。

他的《童话》风靡全球,连中国的同胞,凡有华人的地方,也深深爱上它。

光良,你是我们马来西亚的骄傲!

千盼万等,光良终于又有新歌出炉了。

我在这里跟大家分享,希望你会喜欢。

那些愛過的事 All That I’ve Loved

擁擠的城市
把你我推向開始
愛情來得太遲

來不及理智
以為找到了彼此
會是一生一世

從此以後孤單心事
又多了另一個名字

用愛裝飾 不同故事
都鎖在同一個位子

於是 那些愛過的事
就當作成長的儀式
只要期待有下一次
就不會想起誰的樣子

只是 我愛過你的事
卻像跟著我的影子
遺憾的是你看不到
我還在愛著你的樣子

作曲 Composer:光良

OP:星娛音樂有限公司 XYmusic

作詞 Lyricist:徐培年

OP:Alfa Music International Co., Ltd.

MWM15101

ISRC TWQ371501001

製作人:何俊明@藍芽文化

編曲:Wave G

吉他:吳俊毅@藍芽文化

第一小提琴:蘇子茵

第二小提琴:李思慧@藍芽文化

中提琴:周以勝@藍芽文化

大提琴:范宗沛

鼓:陳柏州 Mr.Q @Mr.Q studio

和聲編寫:Brandy(田曉梅)

和聲:Brandy(田曉梅)、鄒謦蓬

錄音師:王永鈞、陳柏州 Mr.Q

錄音室:Mr.Q studio、藍芽文化事業有限公司

混音師:林正忠

混音室:藍芽文化事業有限公司

Categories: Fun Time, Songs & Music | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Chinese New Year 农历新年

Chinese new year (CNY) is always a great time of reunion.

农历新年是团圆的好时光!

CNY 2015 Reunion Dinner
CNY 2015 Reunion Dinner

Many of us may be working far away from home town, busy schedule prevents us to visit our parents and relatives often. CNY is one of those beautiful moments you can share with them.

常在远远外地工作的游子,繁忙的作息无法让我们常常回乡探望父母和亲友。农历新年往往就是你可以与他们共享美好相聚时光的好机会。

2nd Day of CNY at Concorde Hotel

2nd Day of CNY at Concorde Hotel

I heard young people telling me that CNY is such a waste of time. Big groups of family friends gather together doing “aimless” activities like gambling, chatting (or gossiping), cooking and washing. CNY is no longer treasured by our younger generations. Why? I can think of a few reasons for this phenomenon.

 

我常听年轻朋友说,农历新年是最浪费时间的节日。一大群的亲戚朋友聚在一起做些毫无意义的活动,例如赌博,讲闲话,烹饪和洗刷。我们年轻的孩子已经不珍惜农历新年的日子了,为什么?我可以想到几个原因。

  1. Nuclear family structure becoming a norm – How do we define a family now? The first thing comes into our mind is “husband, wife and children”, right? This is our society’s “normal” family structure. We do not encourage living with our parents because they tend to interfere our family affairs. There are many good points to live as a nuclear family – the couple can learn to cope with life independently and therefore develop maturity in their characters. The downside of this is that these children grow up without interacting with grandparents very much. Grandpa and gandma are guests who come to visit them once in a blue moon – and their visits often create arguments between their parents. The antidote is to increase the opportunities for the children to interact with extended family members like going outings, travelling, shopping or having meals together. Do not make CNY is the only time the children meeting their uncles, aunties, cousins and nephews.
  2. 核心家庭成为常态 – 现在我们如何给“家庭”定义呢?第一个进入脑袋的应该是“丈夫,妻子和他们的孩子们”,对吗?这种“核心家庭”是我们社会所谓正常的家庭结构。我们不再鼓励跟父母同住,因为他们会越权干涉我们的家务事。当然,核心家庭有它可取之处 – 夫妻俩可以学习如何独立处理他们的生活,从而帮助发展他们更成熟的品格。可惜的是这样的家庭结构让剥夺了孩子跟祖父母交流相处的机会。爷爷奶奶,公公婆婆是偶尔在他们家中出现的客人 – 儿往往他们的造访成为父母争吵的原因。处理的方式是让孩子有更多的机会跟延伸家庭成员有更多交流的机会,譬如一起去郊游,野餐,购物或共餐。别让农历新年成为孩子遇见伯伯,叔叔,姑姑,舅舅,姨妈,堂兄弟姐妹,表兄弟姐妹的唯一时间。
  3. Parents’ hypocrisy – When we are not with the extended family, our children hear complaints and gossips about grandparents, uncles, aunties, cousins and nephews. The words are filled with anger, jealousy and sarcasm. During CNY, they see parents’ facial expressions change and sweetest words come out “naturally”  from the lips – they are seeing the hypocrisy and they hate it. What the parents ignore or despise, the children reject. The antidote is to be REAL. We live a life which always give honest credit and praise to our extended family members, stop all the striving and jealousy among siblings but be thankful for each one of them.
  4. 父母虚伪的品格 – 当我们的延伸家庭成员不在身边的时候,孩子听见的都是一些对他们不满的埋怨和闲话。话语中充满着愤怒,妒忌和讥讽。农历新年一到,他们看见父母马上换了另一副嘴脸,好听的话很“自然”挂在嘴边 – 孩子看到的是虚伪,他们讨厌这种嘴脸。父母所忽视和轻视的,孩子就会拒绝。解决的方法就是活得真实。我们愿意常常衷心赞美延伸家庭成员的好,停止所有的彼此争竞和妒忌,也为他们来感恩。
  5. The influence of Western individualistic culture – The Western education and culture is mostly based on a self-centred operational mode. When parents are not placing importance to the value of community (which is one of the core value of Chinese or oriental culture), mutual love and generosity of blessing others, we should not be surprised by our children’s inclination of living a life looking at their own interest only. They will abhor any inconvenience arising from interacting with extended family which does not bring “benefits” to them. The small amount of money inside the red packets does not worth their effort to endure the inconveniences. The antidote is to teach community and oriental value by living examples. We practice generosity by giving to family and friends’ needs, encourage to live inconveniently for the sake of others, constantly remind our children of the positive value and root of the oriental culture and not idolising the Western culture and value (though they do have many good parts for us to learn from)
  6. 西方个人主义的影响 – 西方的教育和文化常常以自我为出发点。当父母不再把社群价值观(它是中国和东方文化的核心价值),彼此相爱和慷慨祝福他人的美好品格视为重要,我们不能责怪孩子活出处处只为自己的自私。他们会鄙视任何毫无利益且又带来不方便的相处时间,就算是新年红包里少许的金钱也不足以让他们去承受那么一点点的不便。解决的方式是以身作则,教导他们东方传承的社群文化。我们慷慨解囊帮助有需要的亲戚和朋友,鼓励他们愿意为了别人的好处而忍受一点不方便,不断提醒孩子外国的月亮不比本地的更圆更亮 (虽然西方文化也有值得我们学习的),东方文化和我们的根里面有许多值得我们去学习和传承的正面价值。

Of course there are many more reasons and ways of helping our children to appreciate CNY and the cultural value therein. You are welcome to give your suggestions via the comment in this post.

Our CNY tradition - Dim Sum brunch

Our CNY tradition – Dim Sum brunch

Above all, LOVE is the main reason for us to celebrate CNY. We want to share our love with our extended family members. We want to full heartedly wish them goodwill and blessings.

诚然,我们有很多其他的方法来帮助我们年轻的孩子去欣赏农历新年和这个节日所包含的精华。我欢迎你们在这篇贴子下留言提供你们宝贵的意见。

最重要的是:爱是我们欢庆农历新年的原因。我们愿意跟家人亲戚和朋友分享爱,衷心祝福他们。

A Christian friend share this CNY song with me via his FB. It was composed by his church friends. I love it – CNY is a time we recount God’s grace and blessings and be thankful in our hearts. CNY is also a time we want to share with our extended family members, relatives and friends the love of Jesus as we experience it daily.

一个基督徒朋友在面子书分享了这首他教会会友所编写的贺岁歌曲。我很喜欢 – 农历新年是我们回想神的恩典和祝福,且怀感恩的心来赞美他。农历新年,我们也要跟亲朋戚友分享耶稣的爱 – 因为我们每天都经历耶稣的爱!

I hope you enjoy this new CNY song – 蒙福

Categories: Christian Faith, Fun Time, General, Reflections, Self Improvement, Songs & Music | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Valentine’s Day – You want to travel?

Blessed Valentine’s Day (3 days in advance)

I received this message from Lonely Planet…… sharing with me the 10 “best” traveling places on Valentine’s Day – well, at least for the rich and well to do couples.

Personally I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because it is really too commercial. You may say I am not a romantic lover cum husband, I just don’t see the point to buy a stalk of rose for many times its’ price in “normal” days! My practical mind overcomes any slight impulse of wanting to be romantic. 🙂 I thank God that my wife Julia has the same idea. She said, “Why don’t we save that money and spend it on something else on another day, that gives us added purchasing power and value for the same amount of money.” Yay! It’s blessed to have a wife who has the same mind.

I want to share this not because I “condone” spending lavishly on Valentine’s Day………it’s just that the photographs in this are so beautiful that I want you to enjoy the places with your eyes if you are like me cannot afford to be there. Continue reading

Categories: Fun Time, Marriage, Money, Photography, Travels & Holidays | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Life is like coffee

What do you value the most in life?

I received this inspirational video from Pastor Inky – and I like it!

It spells of wisdom from the professor and it highlights the main issues facing us today:

We chase after the unimportant things and forget about what is the most valuable.

What is valuable can be very different to different people. To me a simple test is this:

What money can buy cannot be most valuable;

I am looking for things which matter most in life – relationships.

Continue reading

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恭祝大家农历新年蒙恩 Wishing all a blessed CNY

农历新年终于到了 Finally….Chinese New Year is here

时间过得真快,一转眼明天就是年除夕了。除夕夜是华人全家聚集一起吃团圆饭的日子。现今的年轻人,因为个人主义抬头,大家庭制度的流失,已经无法明白团圆饭的意义了。

Time flies…..we are going to celebrate Chinese New Year Eve tomorrow. Usually it is a time when the whole family (including all extended family members) having a reunion dinner together. With the increasing individualistic value and extended family disappearing rapidly, the younger generations may not see the significance of this event.

可是,你们知道吗?这个简单的年夜饭是很多长辈日夜等待的日子,尤其是他们的儿孙没有跟他们同住的老人。

Do you know? For most of elderly family members, this is a day they have been looking forward for the entire year. This is especially true when most of their children and grand children are staying away from them for the rest of the year.

他们殷切盼望见到你们 They are looking forward to seeing you…………….

Continue reading

Categories: Christian Faith, Parenting, Reflections, Travels & Holidays | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Husband and Wife

A Joke on husband and wife. This is a great one!

Wine

It makes me laugh………….and then it makes me sad.

The world has lost the meaning of marriage; many couples are merely tolerating each other, some are substituting other things like wine, golf, cars, jewelery or friends for the spouse………

The Bible says marriage is a union of two lives. “That is why a man leaves Continue reading

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Do we know what our parents want?

Honor your Parents

“Honor your father and mother”- which is the first commandment with a promise. Ephesians 6:2

This is a great video (it’s in Chinese Cantonese dialect though) to remind us to show love and concern to our parents while we still have them with us.

A story was told of an elderly father continued to call his daughter’s mobile, wanting to listen to her voice to leave a message after the “peep”………although he knows so well that his daughter died in a car accident 3 years ago. The mobile company allowed this unusual service to continue because they care.

Click here to view the video

Young people have lots of treasures; endless laughter with friends to enjoy , glittering lights in shopping malls to behold, challenging career ladder to climb, satisfying hobbies to pursue……..

How about your elderly papa and mama? When the children are not around Continue reading

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No fear – Helping others to succeed

Weekend Refection: Great joy from helping others succeed.

Helping Hands

Each day, there are kind things that I can do for people. I see the value that others have in my life and make it a point to determine how I can help them. When people struggle, I want to do something to improve their lives. I am joyful when Continue reading

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5 Suggestions to rekindle the romance in your marriage

5 Suggestions to rekindle the romance in your marriage

FishingHave you ever felt that your marriage has lost the steam where you first met your spouse? Remember how you longed to see him or her everyday and secretly wishing that time could stand still when you both met. Today, you seem to live everyday just like any other day. You don’t get excited over your relationship with your spouse anymore. You’ve no expectation on your marriage, family and even your own life anymore. It’s really a sad state to be in.

Imagine you can rekindle the romance that once filled the air that both of you breathe. Continue reading

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Effective Parenting – Know your style

Which One of 3 Parenting Styles Are You?

Fishing

A rare time when our family went fishing together

If you don’t already know, all of us have natural styles in relating people. Parenting is of no difference. My two children have been raised in a disciplined environment. They complained that it has been unfair because they weren’t allow to do many things which their contemporaries would do them without having to ask their parents’ permission. Some of my friends used to jokingly commented, “Henry is raising children in an army camp.” I must admit, Julia and I made many mistakes in the process of raising our children. We had no idea about parenting styles until when our children were much older. Surprisingly we found out that we were unconsciously following our own parents’ styles in relating to our own children.

I am sharing this post because Continue reading

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Say these words for a blissful marriage

Henry & Julia

Do you speak these words to your spouse?

word powerI cannot emphasize enough the importance of communication in a marriage relationship. I have shared before about learning the love languages of your spouse so that you can generously lavish the right kind of “love” upon him / her (click here to read of my book review), there are some words that are ever green and effective no matter what love languages you speak.

Of course there are many words words that could help improve your married life and make it a blissful one. Some of them are “may I help”, “I I love uam sorry” or the commonly used phrase, “I love you”. There are other words to show you care and truly love the one you are with and perhaps the two most important words/phrases are shown below.

Children have been thought to speak kind words to each other as they grow up. Simple words, Continue reading

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Our Journey in Marriage

Marriage is a Blessing – Don’t turn it into a curse.

Henry wedding 1Our Wedding Photo in 1987

This article may be slightly long compares to the normal standard of a web post. However, I hope you have the patience to read it through. We are sharing our journey of more than 20 years of marriage and really pray that someone like you who are reading it will be blessed.

For those of you who are deciding to walk down the aisle soon, you are surely overwhelmed by the prospect of you and your partner living happily together for the rest of your life. This is actually a good expectation. In fact, when both of you decide to say “I do” to each other, you should have such high hope of your marriage life.

Marriage can be one of the greatest blessings in your life. You are going to live with the person whom you loved and committed to for the rest of your life on earth. In years to come, two of you are going to have children to share this life together. How wonderful it is. Continue reading

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How to manage household finances without emotional stress and arguments?

Household budgetHousehold Financial Management – What’s the Big Deal?

Before Julia and I walked down the aisle, many friends told us from their experiences that one of the toughest challenges in marriage is to agree on the ways to manage household finances.

“Believe me, Henry, you are going to have heated arguments on how to spend money.” Sincere and loving friends “warned” me in advance with well intention.Arguing

Due to different family background and the way that our parents brought us up, we have different attitudes and habits on spending and saving. We cannot expect a couple to have the same priorities in managing finances. Compromises and mutual respect are keys to work out an agreeable pattern together.

After nearly 30 years of marriage, we must say household finance has not been a great issue for us. Why? Besides the fact that both of us share the same trait of being thrifty, we also established 2 basic principles and stick to them religiously.

1)     Find your comfort level with merging your finances.

Continue reading

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Build your child’s self-esteem – Video Version

Thank youThank you for your encouragement.

I am so happy to receive much encouragement from many who have read my blog yesterday on “Build your child’s self-esteem is your responsibility”. (Click here for the full article). With your support and cheers, I shall work harder to provide good tips in “building your family with love and confidence“. (Do you realize that this is our blog’s tag line? 🙂 )

I can see that many of us parents have the same problem of trying to build our children’s confidence which will benefit them for their whole life. The article contains only some practical pointers for us to work on. Do not expect immediate miracles. It’s worth our investment to continue nurturing our children’s future. They are our loved ones and will become the future generation of our family, nation and the whole world.

One of my friends who have read the article suggested that I should post a summary video of this article. Being new to blogging, I am not familiar with how this can be done. He taught me the easiest way to make Powerpoint slides, save them using Windows Live Movie Maker program and then convert it into Media Audio/ Video file. I managed to do just that. I also figure out how to add a piece of nice music to go along with the video.

Yes. Nothing is too difficult if you are humble enough to ask and learn. I know you are probably laughing, this video is really an amateur’s work. However, this is an important first step that I have taken. I am sure I will become better each time I try again. So……friends, the worst enemy we have is to stand still, procrastinate (read my other article on “6 ways of getting rid of procrastination” here) and not to take any action. Success will never come to you if you don’t even start trying.

Let us encourage one another to initiate and move on. 🙂

Here is my first VIDEO on “Build your child’s self-esteem”, hope you enjoy it.

Please give me some feedback and comments. I shall improve further with your encouragement. Thanks again.

Categories: Parenting, Self Improvement | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Build your child’s self-esteem

Child 1Build Your Child’s Self Esteem is your responsibility

Do you ever wonder why the child next door is full of joy and courage? He seems to take initiative to do things and speak his minds without feeling intimidated. When you turn around and look at your child at home. He seems not interested in anything. He does not ask questions like most children do. You are puzzled and think of what you have done wrong or what your neighbor has done right to raise two children with such different characters.

It’s important that a child is brought up with positive self image and self value. A child brought up in that way shall have the necessary confidence to face their adulthood. But how and where would your child learn self esteem and self worth? In my previous article “Parenting tips”, you would have learned that your child imitate you. Therefore, the most obvious place for them to build self esteem is at home and from you. When your child is young, you are the person who spends the longest hours with them. Your influence in your child’s life can never be underestimated.

Continue reading

Categories: Parenting, Self Improvement | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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