Time flies…..we are going to celebrate Chinese New Year Eve tomorrow. Usually it is a time when the whole family (including all extended family members) having a reunion dinner together. With the increasing individualistic value and extended family disappearing rapidly, the younger generations may not see the significance of this event.
Do you know? For most of elderly family members, this is a day they have been looking forward for the entire year. This is especially true when most of their children and grand children are staying away from them for the rest of the year.
他们殷切盼望见到你们 They are looking forward to seeing you…………….
Children are inquisitive by nature. When they are younger, it’s usually because they want to better understand something. When they are older, it’s because they want to better understand why you think something is important and why they should also feel the same way. Regardless of their age, it’s imperative that when setting forth the rules and expectations in your home, your child understands there is no room for questioning the rules you set forth and the consequences of breaking the rules.
As Christians, we prayed for our children as they were growing up. It does not mean that we have been excellent parents, we made silly and serious mistake in parenting. In many senses, we actually failed to be good and great parents. However, we chose to pray for God’s protection and preservation of our children’s faith. More importantly, we pray for God’s grace, wisdom and much patience when we were bringing them up. Now that they have reached adulthood, we continue to pray for them. One thing Julia and I always believe that we cannot be with our children all the time, but our God can.
For Younger Children…..
It is very difficult to reason with younger children, they usually do not understand a lengthy explanation of why it’s important that they be home from their friend’s home at a certain time or why they aren’t allowed to play ball in the house. However, the one thing they do strive to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy. Continue reading →
I believe you read my post on “How do teenage problems affect the parents?” (Click here to read) one of the keys to grow with your teenagers is to open up communication channels. As parents, you can’t accomplish anything if no one is listening. Communication is the cornerstone for a positive relationship with your teens.
Over these years when my children are growing up, I read quite a bit of books and practical advices from gurus on parenting teenage children. Without exception, all of them stress the importance of Continue reading →
Julia and I have a fair share of challenges when our two children grew to become teenagers. Suddenly they no longer looked at their parents as heros, they also found it hard to relate to us as buddies. When they faced some real stressful and challenging situations in relationships – To share or not to share? That’s the big question.
As parents, we have to understand that teenage problems are inherent because Continue reading →
5 Suggestions to rekindle the romance in your marriage
Have you ever felt that your marriage has lost the steam where you first met your spouse? Remember how you longed to see him or her everyday and secretly wishing that time could stand still when you both met. Today, you seem to live everyday just like any other day. You don’t get excited over your relationship with your spouse anymore. You’ve no expectation on your marriage, family and even your own life anymore. It’s really a sad state to be in.
Imagine you can rekindle the romance that once filled the air that both of you breathe. Continue reading →
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of communication in a marriage relationship. I have shared before about learning the love languages of your spouse so that you can generously lavish the right kind of “love” upon him / her (click here to read of my book review), there are some words that are ever green and effective no matter what love languages you speak.
Of course there are many words words that could help improve your married life and make it a blissful one. Some of them are “may I help”, “I am sorry” or the commonly used phrase, “I love you”. There are other words to show you care and truly love the one you are with and perhaps the two most important words/phrases are shown below.
Children have been thought to speak kind words to each other as they grow up. Simple words, Continue reading →
Today, I am going to change my topic slightly. Instead of focusing on family issues, I would like to deviate a little bit to share a skill which is important and we bound to face it one day – public speaking.
I am not an excellent public speaker although I speak regularly in church meetings. Over the years, well intended friends and family members have been giving me feedback and critics about my public speaking, I really appreciate their honest opinions.
I know, there are some people who are born with the talent of public speaking. As soon as you give them the stage, they have no problem delivering an interesting speech that intrigues many. I am not sure about you. I, like most people, don’t possess such gift naturally; I used to struggle a lot when I need to make a public speech. It varies from small jobs like making announcement in class, laying down rules of games to big and important tasks to make a convincing presentation in attracting investors or customers to sign on the dotted line. The fact remains, Continue reading →
Household Financial Management – What’s the Big Deal?
Before Julia and I walked down the aisle, many friends told us from their experiences that one of the toughest challenges in marriage is to agree on the ways to manage household finances.
“Believe me, Henry, you are going to have heated arguments on how to spend money.” Sincere and loving friends “warned” me in advance with well intention.
Due to different family background and the way that our parents brought us up, we have different attitudes and habits on spending and saving. We cannot expect a couple to have the same priorities in managing finances. Compromises and mutual respect are keys to work out an agreeable pattern together.
After nearly 30 years of marriage, we must say household finance has not been a great issue for us. Why? Besides the fact that both of us share the same trait of being thrifty, we also established 2 basic principles and stick to them religiously.
1) Find your comfort level with merging your finances.
Have you ever worried about your family member’s safety? How about really concerned for your children’s education? Or may be anxious about a sick and elderly parent? Chances are you do face some form of fear, anxiety and worrisome. Yes. You’re right. Having fears is a natural part of life. Fear enables us to be careful and not subject ourselves to danger. However, fear turns out to be unhealthy and undesirable when you allow it to take control of the way you live your life or relate to others. In fact I have seen many cases where fear has so gripped the person’s life and emotions that he is totally “paralyzed”, it means his mind goes completely blank and he cannot make any normal decision in that situation.
I would like to share with you two very common fears happen in families. From the examples you could chose to react to your fear positively or the other way. Are you ready to look at them?
I am so happy to receive much encouragement from many who have read my blog yesterday on “Build your child’s self-esteem is your responsibility”. (Click here for the full article). With your support and cheers, I shall work harder to provide good tips in “building your family with love and confidence“. (Do you realize that this is our blog’s tag line? 🙂 )
I can see that many of us parents have the same problem of trying to build our children’s confidence which will benefit them for their whole life. The article contains only some practical pointers for us to work on. Do not expect immediate miracles. It’s worth our investment to continue nurturing our children’s future. They are our loved ones and will become the future generation of our family, nation and the whole world.
One of my friends who have read the article suggested that I should post a summary video of this article. Being new to blogging, I am not familiar with how this can be done. He taught me the easiest way to make Powerpoint slides, save them using Windows Live Movie Maker program and then convert it into Media Audio/ Video file. I managed to do just that. I also figure out how to add a piece of nice music to go along with the video.
Yes. Nothing is too difficult if you are humble enough to ask and learn. I know you are probably laughing, this video is really an amateur’s work. However, this is an important first step that I have taken. I am sure I will become better each time I try again. So……friends, the worst enemy we have is to stand still, procrastinate (read my other article on “6 ways of getting rid of procrastination” here) and not to take any action. Success will never come to you if you don’t even start trying.
Let us encourage one another to initiate and move on. 🙂
Here is my first VIDEO on “Build your child’s self-esteem”, hope you enjoy it.
Please give me some feedback and comments. I shall improve further with your encouragement. Thanks again.
Build Your Child’s Self Esteem is your responsibility
Do you ever wonder why the child next door is full of joy and courage? He seems to take initiative to do things and speak his minds without feeling intimidated. When you turn around and look at your child at home. He seems not interested in anything. He does not ask questions like most children do. You are puzzled and think of what you have done wrong or what your neighbor has done right to raise two children with such different characters.
It’s important that a child is brought up with positive self image and self value. A child brought up in that way shall have the necessary confidence to face their adulthood. But how and where would your child learn self esteem and self worth? In my previous article “Parenting tips”, you would have learned that your child imitate you. Therefore, the most obvious place for them to build self esteem is at home and from you. When your child is young, you are the person who spends the longest hours with them. Your influence in your child’s life can never be underestimated.
Marriage is indeed one of the greatest blessings in your life, but it takes a lot of work to maintain a close, vibrant relationship for a long time. Sometimes it seems as though the odds are against the success of your marriage.
Over the past 20 years, I learned of some practical tips that can help develop the intimacy and fulfillment within the marriage relationship. Julia and I had our fair share of struggles and pain when we walk this married lives together, but these principles and practical steps gave us hope for better future and direction to move forward. I would like to share them with you and hopefully they could spice up your marriage life too. By taking these simple steps, you can continue to experience the intimacy and fulfillment you crave within your marital relationship: Continue reading →
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.”
Every family, including mine, experiences hardships. It’s only natural to have personalities clash in a home with so many strong-minded individuals.
Though it may seem at times like our family members have very different opinions on things, our bond is undeniably strong.
In the past, my wife and I took spending time with our children for granted; now we savor every moment spent by their side. This is especially true when they reach an age when they no longer need us driving them around. Nothing feels better than my daughter asking, “Hey, want to go to the mall?” She could have asked any of her friends to go with her, but she asked me! Continue reading →